Trust at its core is a system that affects the mind, body, and emotional structure of our well-being. I'm sure we've all come across the phrase "trust issues," as it has run its course throughout all facets of social media, but in reality, "trust issues" stretches far beyond the simple act of lying and seeps deeply into the way we connect with friends, family, and partners.
Trust Issues and the Body
With trust comes comfortability, vulnerability, and most importantly, safety. When we feel that lack of trust in one crucial area of our lives, our bodies will put up a road block in order to prevent it from happening again.
In a way, it's our bodies way of taking care of us. Our senses are heightened and we actively try to avoid any situations where we could possibly be betrayed again, it's a part of being human. However, for the amount of safety that it brings, it brings twice as many doses of isolation.
Trust and the Brain
Like most psychological trauma, trust issues usually surface at a young age, stemming from some kind of repeated childhood experience. And when we sift through the subjective, the scientific explanation puts our thoughts into a more tangible perspective.
Mutuality and betrayal play vital roles in our brain activity and if one outweighs the other, unique paths begin to form, and trust me, they are hard to break.
When we are faced with betrayal or mutuality, our minds take two different paths:
If protecting yourself, your emotions, and your own sense of security is an unconscious standard practice, when you are faced with "unexpected mutuality," you might find it hard to believe in the good deeds.
"Unexpected mutuality" are acts of genuine kindness that can come off as acts with an ulterior motive to those with trust issues. This can lead to paranoia, overthinking, and anxious tendencies that hinder your ability to stay in a healthy relationship.
On the flip-side, if you are someone who is used to keeping that wall up, "unexpected betrayal" is something that only reinforces the narrative of keeping others out.
We have the power to decide to open ourselves back up again, but we are not in control of how long the process will take. When your lack of trust begins to hinder the solitude in your relationships, remember to recognize, communicate, repetition.
Recognize the Problem
If you're reading this post that means you've already completed this step. The first step in any mental and emotional reset is realizing that you need one. This step will act as the foundation to your journey back to putting trust in others besides yourself.
Communicate the Problem
The mantra that has been ingrained in our head reigns true in any and all aspects of a relationship, especially this one. Once you realize the severity of your issues with trust, the next step is talking to your partner about it.
This does not mean that they are the one at fault, but it could help them realize that some of the things they are doing trigger those feelings.
Trust is not a conscious act, it is something that is felt based on past experiences and often times can take years to develop.
In order to trust again, it takes time and repetition. Repeated acts, experiences, and gestures that will help our brains understand that we don't have to be afraid anymore.
It's almost like tricking your brain. The idea of repeated acts stems from the idea that "we'll believe it when we see it," but we need to see it again and again.
With Inward, our text message-based programs are designed to help you understand yourself and work through those patterns. The first step to wellness is accepting the help you deserve: choose clarity, choose Inward.